: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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