Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
