you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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