Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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