i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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