I accidentally burped into my bong.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
True strength comes from lack of pants
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
