Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
