i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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