i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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