My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
