He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
