Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
