Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize