how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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