And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
