Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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