I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
