that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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