I CAN MOONWALK!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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