im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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