She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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