Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
