I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
