I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize