just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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