brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
