She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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