Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
as a side note pls kill me
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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