BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Even my vagina gasped.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
