You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
