We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
