idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize
