I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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