is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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