sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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