If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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