We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
