i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
