im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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