Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
