Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
