Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
