im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
