If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
jump out the window naked night went bad
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
