just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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