whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
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