Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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