Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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