Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
