I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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