Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
