Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
