Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
