Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
