my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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