Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
