I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
