very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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