your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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