problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
