You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
