so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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