I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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