I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I cut my penus on the lid.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
